So the morning nap didn't happen, we attempted with the afternoon nap. I nursed her and then rocked her till she was just almost asleep and then I put her in her bed. When I laid her down she IMMEDIATELY started screaming and balling up her fists. And then her entire body started shaking and she cried so long and hard she quit breathing!! In my head I'm thinking, "Oh baby Jesus!!! I can't do this!!", So I picked her up! Bad Mommy I know, I'm not strong, but she was shaking and not breathing!! So I calmed her down and we tried again, I was comforted in how quickly she calmed down, and I knew she wasn't hurt she was just pissed off. So I laid her back down, kissed her on the head and left the room.
She cried, and she sobbed, and she screamed absolute bloody murder, and I laid in the hall DYING!! After what felt like an eternity I went in and got her. And we rocked and I held her tighter than I've ever held her before. And I felt like the worst mom ever. Because she clung to me like someone who thought they'd never see me again. It was pretty hardbreaking. I had every intention of never trying this again at that point. I think I even whispered to her that she could sleep in my bed til she was 18 for all I cared.
And then I looked at my watch.... It'd only been THREE MINUTES!!!!! She only cried for three minutes??? What??? It felt like forever!!!! Man my child can wind up fast. Wow..
So I decided she was totally playing me. And we'd try again. I did hold her and rock her until she stopped hiccuping out her last sobs, and then we started over. With my resolve being a little stronger.
This time I did not go back in. I did lay in the hall and peek my camera around the door so I could see that she was ok.
And 27 minutes later she was passed out! I mean passed completely out!! She slept for two hours!! It was a Christmas miracle!! For the first time ever when she woke up, she was not groggy, she was ready to play, and she was in the most fantastic mood!!!
And I'm thinking, I can totally do this. It will be worth it for both of us. I can't wait to see how tomorrow's nap goes!!
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